Random fitness update

It’s Thursday evening and I’m sitting in front of the computer watching the cursor blink. I have such a desire to write more but I don’t know what to say. I know the more wine I consume while sitting here the words will start flowing. Hopefully.

I’ve started two different posts so far. One about the house and the other about the awful events of the past weekend. It became a bit heavy. So instead I am doing a quick fitness update of sorts.

So I started getting serious about my journey April 25th. I have missed a couple weeks from our move but I am starting to get back into my groove while getting my diet back on track.

I didn’t think I would do this but here are my before pics. Don’t mind the darkness or the clothes. This is our small room we had while staying at my father in laws.

I’m suppose to take the after photos this Monday but I haven’t been consistent with my 8 weeks so on July 1st expect some updated pics. AND hopefully we see a difference (I know we will). When I first started I wanted the most amazing abs and legs to show off. I’m slowly learning that may not be realistic but you know what GOOD.

When I was younger I had an eating disorder. I was never hospitalized but I knew what limiting my calories would give me, the “perfectly skinny” body. Everyday is a small battle, some less than others, but I’ve learned that is not how I want to earn my abs. Food journals and probably the worst was chewing my food then spitting it out. You get the taste but don’t actually consume all the bad…. I’m disgusted with myself.

I’m loving the Tone It Up community so much. If I ever have a moment of weakness I can write a quick status update and there are so many gals encouraging me. They remind me the work outs and 5 meals daily are highly needed to fuel my body. I love being part of something that is women encouraging each other instead of bringing each other down.

Well that got a bit deeper than I intended but once the words start flowing I can’t stop. I just want to put a part of my story out there in hopes of helping someone else.

Hope you have  great weekend. I’ll be back with a fun update of my Saturday night debauchery come Monday. **insert winky face**

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Learning to keep my mouth shut //

The year L and I ran Shamrock run. Our first race together.

The year L and I ran Shamrock run. Our first race together.

Well I did it again. I’m not entirely sure this one is all my fault though. This morning I decided to suck it up and go to a Saturday class at the gym. Showing up to the 8 am class on a Saturday felt like a huge accomplishment and I was energized as soon as I pulled up.

My usual trainer was running this class. I was really feeling exciting for this day. L wasn’t able to join me because he is in busy season so that means working 7 days a week. Before class was starting I sent L a text explaining the workout. We’re both extremely sarcastic and I was expecting a smart ass remark back. As the trainer was getting was ready for warm up I told him about the text and how L would most likely respond. My trainer laughed and decided to tell the owner, because it was FUNNY.

This is when I wanted to walk out and started wishing I had just kept to myself. The owner of our gym came out and decided to go on a “lovely” 5 minute rant on how the gym’s workouts our decided on. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Also going on about no day is harder than another and I should go home to explain this to L. Instant defense mode kicked into high gear as I’m sure it would for anyone hearing their partner being thrown under the bus.

As the work out got started, I just did what I had to do. Kept telling myself to push through. Just push through. A moment did arise where I was able to explain to our trainer how inappropriate that rant was and he should have addressed me personally so I could explain the joke. I’m happy I have a close relationship with this particular trainer because he did help me feel better and did say he thought the owner would think its funny as well.

I felt so belittled by the owner this morning. L has been a member of this gym for over 3 years. He was one of the first handful of members. If L really thought some days were harder than others why would he up his membership to 4 days a week? Why are we spending almost $300 a month just for us to use your facility?

Moral of the story for me, keep my mouth shut. I don’t feel like I did anything to deserve the treatment this morning, but if that is the response I’m going to get, I’ll just keep to myself . The owner hardly knows L or myself. He doesn’t know how sarcastic we can be. Yes he wanted to defend the business he is growing but it shouldn’t be done at the expense of your members. And yes I’m highly considering discontinuing my membership.

I am hopeful though that this morning was just one of those days for him. I also feel this shows how disconnected he has become from the people who make his dream a reality, the members.

Cheers to a better Saturday!

Thinking.

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Lately I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Nothing incredibly serious… Just this pesky thing called body image. So vain, I know, but it’s there all the time right now. I can’t seem to shake that inner demon every time I’m about to eat or drink something.

In my long-lost past I was a huge calorie counter. I knew how many I wasn’t consumer and how “awesome” I was going to look because of it. Now I feel those day’s coming back.

Being that its summer we spend a lot of time outside whether it be canoeing, the river with friends, and of course the pool. I’m worried these feelings will effect the good time I could be having. I’m already noticing these feelings getting in my thoughts at work. I work with awesome people but I’m too busy worried about how I look in my outfit compared to everyone else. That’s not how I want to spend my day.

I guess this is something I’m going to have to be conscious of and work on. I talk to L about it regularly. I know I’m going to need help from my partner in order to stay on the healthy path instead of the “easy” path.

In other news, we’ve been doing a lot of thinking about life in general. I’ve been having these moments that remind of my just graduated high school self. As soon as you’ve walked across that stage, diploma in hand, everyone wants to know what  you plan on doing with your life. Something similar is happening now that we’re married.

So to help everyone out, we’re not entirely sure what the plan is. We have a lot of the basics figured out. Some of the other stuff we want to figure out as they come. Isn’t that why people get married? To go through the unexpected stuff with someone they know they can make it through with…

We just want to enjoy life. And we plan on doing that as much as possible. First example is the river this weekend with friends. ((I’ve been counting the minutes until Saturday))