Dear husband, thanks.

On June 29 we celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary and I just feel like I need to say thanks to the man that challenges me, loves me, pushes me, and respects me.

The last five years haven’t always been easy and I know the next fifty won’t always be easy but thank you for making our life seem easy. Even during our rough times you point out the light at the end of the tunnel making whatever hurdle lie ahead seem easy.

The best piece of marriage advice I received was this “you may not like each other everyday but you will love each other everyday”. These words could not be more true and been more accurate for our life thus far. I can be a bit of a pain in the ass…. but I know even during those rough times our love for each other is still there.

So L, this ones for you.

Thank you.

Now, enjoy the massive photo dump of the last five years.

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Grandpa 

Grandpa on my wedding day June 29, 2013.

October 12, 2017 this sweet soul left this earth. I’m not sure how to put into words how I feel. Heart broken with a mix of relief is the best way. He’s no longing fighting. He doesn’t have anymore doctors appointments. No more surgery… He can finally just be.

Grandpa has lived with us (my mom, sister, and I) since I was about 5 years old. Since I was 18 he’s been fighting cancer. But he put up one hell of fight. My whole childhood he was there. Every Friday night he was at the football games “watching me cheer” but I know he was really watching the game.

My heart aches knowing my future child will never know the love this man had for his family. I’m hopeful I can share his life and stories with them so they know the man he was. How very much he would have loved them.

Where ever he is I hope he’s watching over us. I also hope he knows and still feels our love for him.

Grandpa, I know its only been two weeks but I miss you dearly. I know you are finally at peace and I hope you get to spend your days golfing. I will live everyday trying to be the best person I can be while also always being kind to everyone I meet.

 

Summer so far

Let me just start since this post the weather has definitely decided to work with me. It’s been so hot and sunny this year! We needed it. 

So far this summer has been great! I can’t even begin to explain but I’m going to try! 

I got to meet this handsome devil IN PERSON! Heart exploded into a million pieces.

A little girls night with my mom and aunt. With my aunts special margarita’s of course.

L bought me a leather jacket. Do I look cool enough?

L working on his truck. I guess that’s one way to do it.

I typically don’t leave for work until 6:30 but this particular morning I had to leave at 5:30.

Sweet boy. Always needs his throw pillow while napping on the couch.

A little Snapchat filter after a pretty intense Betty Rocker workout.

Lake Billy Chinook weekend.

L testing out his captain skills.

After a long day outside these pups were pooped.

I guess that’s one way to nap…

My girl. Always has to be right by my side.

Hot summer drive with all the windows down.

Redneck Luau fun.

Sunset over the lake to close out Fourth of July weekend.

Easter Weekend 2017

This weekend started out good. Like really good. Friday evening we went to pizza for dinner. My favorite Friday night treat! Shortly after we met with friends and hung out all evening. I don’t know why but I love simple quality time with friends.

Saturday started even better because the sun was shining and it was warm. The weather definitely effects my mood and having the weekends be as nice as they have been is making a huge difference in my mental and emotional state.

The dogs and L were outside all day Saturday while I went to a baby shower and it definitely showed when I got home. Very tired dogs and husband. But 25% of our fence is complete! That’s a win folks.

Sunday we went on a ride. I’m trying to get as many miles under my belt before our trip to Sturgis this summer. It wasn’t as sunny but it was about 10 degrees warmer. We spent the day with great company stopping for lunch and of course our favorite fire pit/brewery.

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Of course everyone crashed Sunday night. Its honestly amazing what the nice weather and all the outside time did for us. I knew we needed it but it really hit home as I was getting ready for bed Sunday night. The weekend was incredibly eventful but it was enough to remind me how good we have it. So so good.

 

I’m barely surviving. 

So this winter has be hard. Our winter has been in rare form and we saw more snow than I’m comfortable with. You see snow in the mountains is great but snow where I live is not my thing. 

Unlike a lot of the Portland metro area I still had to be at work on time. And FYI, that means 7am. Do you know what it’s like driving at 6:30am during the winter? It’s dark. Real dark since my entire commute is back rounds. Then winter laughed in my face and through a giant snow ball at me. 

Needless to say I’ve never been more ready for spring and/or summer. I need to feel the heat of sunlight kissing my skin. Blue sky! My feet need air by way of sandals! But I have a feeling that will be awhile as it was snowing again this morning. 

I’m over it! 

Snow & Rambles

Our second now storm has hit and it is magical. We only got about 2 inches but in the Portland area that is a rather BIG deal. It snowed then quickly froze creating a rather large traffic jam. It took my sister 5.5 hours to drive 20 miles.

The snow right before Christmas has been wonderful but also kind of stressful. With only a week to go I’m realizing I haven’t been feeling that Christmas feeling this year. I’ve been playing the Christmas music, watching all the movies, and even decorated our home. But somethings missing. I feel like singing “where are you Christmas” a la Cindy Lou Who.

I know the holiday isn’t about the gifts but we haven’t shopped at all. We chose to buy a few things for the home instead of the traditional needless gifts. We aren’t even doing stockings (my favorite thing on Christmas morning). I know this ridiculous and silly but I am feeling emotional over it.

L is incredibly hard to shop for. I find so much joy is trying to find him the PERFECT gift and stocking stuffers. I know I could sneakily buy him gifts but here’s the kicker/dilemma: we have a joint account and I do not have a credit card. If I were to spend money on the perfect stocking he’d know.

For L Christmas is absolutely not about the gifts. He prefers time spent at home as a little family. Just us and the fur babies. Maybe mimosa or two (or five).

I guess I just miss the big Christmas’ from my childhood. Think Home Alone. 20 people in one house. The adults out numbered by the kids. Us running around being ridiculous, fighting, laughing, consuming too much sugar. I want it all right now. My mom making all her Christmas cookies and my aunts trying to make dinner at the same time. Its all so magical.

I don’t know what the point of this is. I guess I am just in a bit of a funk. I need to stop comparing myself to others and embrace my now. Hopefully sitting down and thinking how I want to embrace the new year will help focus me. Bring me back to my now and hopefully get my mindset back to the positive.

Merry Christmas.