Snow & Rambles

Our second now storm has hit and it is magical. We only got about 2 inches but in the Portland area that is a rather BIG deal. It snowed then quickly froze creating a rather large traffic jam. It took my sister 5.5 hours to drive 20 miles.

The snow right before Christmas has been wonderful but also kind of stressful. With only a week to go I’m realizing I haven’t been feeling that Christmas feeling this year. I’ve been playing the Christmas music, watching all the movies, and even decorated our home. But somethings missing. I feel like singing “where are you Christmas” a la Cindy Lou Who.

I know the holiday isn’t about the gifts but we haven’t shopped at all. We chose to buy a few things for the home instead of the traditional needless gifts. We aren’t even doing stockings (my favorite thing on Christmas morning). I know this ridiculous and silly but I am feeling emotional over it.

L is incredibly hard to shop for. I find so much joy is trying to find him the PERFECT gift and stocking stuffers. I know I could sneakily buy him gifts but here’s the kicker/dilemma: we have a joint account and I do not have a credit card. If I were to spend money on the perfect stocking he’d know.

For L Christmas is absolutely not about the gifts. He prefers time spent at home as a little family. Just us and the fur babies. Maybe mimosa or two (or five).

I guess I just miss the big Christmas’ from my childhood. Think Home Alone. 20 people in one house. The adults out numbered by the kids. Us running around being ridiculous, fighting, laughing, consuming too much sugar. I want it all right now. My mom making all her Christmas cookies and my aunts trying to make dinner at the same time. Its all so magical.

I don’t know what the point of this is. I guess I am just in a bit of a funk. I need to stop comparing myself to others and embrace my now. Hopefully sitting down and thinking how I want to embrace the new year will help focus me. Bring me back to my now and hopefully get my mindset back to the positive.

Merry Christmas.


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