Real Talk

 **I started this about a week ago. Since then I have calmed down and decided I cannot let myself continue to hold onto these feelings. The below is unfinished but a raw emotion at that moment last week.**

 

After last Thursday’s post I have decided to just be completely open with myself and my emotions. I’m generally a happy easy going gal but sometimes life gets you down…. 

First, in regards to last weeks post I’m pissed in all honesty. The negativity and mean place that one comment came from really hurt. We use to be so incredibly close and now we’re not, at all. That simple. We have no idea what the others life is even like. So to take time to make such a passive aggressive move not even toward fixing things. I’m not even 100% sure why we’re even fighting anymore but this was the reminder as to why we’re not friends. 

It all feels incredibly childish. Two twenty something gals acting this way. Are we both that pethitically stubborn or is this really the best outcome? Once so close we respect for eachother to no longer on speaking terms acting out with low blows? Yes, to answer your question, I do remember when we were best friends. I remember very well. As I’ve said before, it was the rarest friendship. The type you omhold onto a cherish forever. 

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Mixed emotions but happy.

  

I’ve officially been going to Crossfit OC for a month now. Hearing L tell me how much my body has changed since day one is the little boost I didn’t know I needed to continue. I workout for my own self esteem issues but knowing my husband thinks my body is getting hotter (to him) is what I like to hear. Sexy time…. Ha! 

Last night we did box jumps. I honestly didn’t think anything of it at the time but today I can hardly walk up and down the stairs. After I ran the rock n’ roll half marathon last year my doctor told me to watch it. My knees are slowly deteriorating and I now know box jumps are a no no. 

In this last month I’ve noticed how much happier I’ve been daily. I honestly think getting myself back on a workout schedule and pushing myself every time has altered my attitude completely. I’m proud of myself. And really happy! 

**stepped away for a few hours**

Well I started the above portion this morning. Today was a great and honestly still is but somehow I’m letting one little Facebook comment rock my core. 

I’ve had my current Facebook account for about 8 years. That’s a lot of post and photos documented. In that time friends have come and gone. Some gradually because well life and others sadly a petty fight separates us. But it’s all a part of my story and Facebook documents it all. 

Today’s comment was made on a photo I posted about 7 years ago. A comment made by a past friend. We are no longer friends on Facebook, and haven’t been for almost two years. The comment was passive aggressive and snarky. 

When I saw it I was immediately sad then mad. I’m sad because this was a friendship like no other. That person you could call at any point day or night and just vent your little heart out. Every part of who I am this person knew better than me. 

But then I grew kind of pissed off. This passive aggression just a small reminder why we can’t be friends. I’m no where near perfect. I’ve made so many mistakes in life and will continue to make them. But if we cannot be kind to one another how can a friendship grow? 

I am going to choose to continue this day. The sun is shining, the sky is amazingly blue, and I’m happy. Really really happy. And you know what I plan on spreading my happiness like glitter.